Decision making

Why you might find decision making difficult

Everybody makes decisions.  Some have a short-term impact, for example, deciding what to wear to a party. Other decisions may be more complex and have a longer-term impact, such as 'What am I going to do when I leave school, Uni or TAFE?'

Making a decision is not always easy.  To make sure you get the outcome that you are comfortable with you may need to consider lots of factors.

Having experience with making decisions in the past can make it easier when faced with new decisions.  It is also helpful to have information about the options available or consequences for those options.

How decision-making might affect you

If a decision is difficult, it is not uncommon to feel:

• overwhelmed 
• stressed or anxious 
• excited
• annoyed and frustrated at yourself or others 
• down or depressed 
• confused
• pressure or expectations from yourself or others
• physically sick, including headaches or migraines
• distracted, and finding it hard to concentrate 
• tired - sleeping too much or not enough.

If you are experiencing these feelings it is important to look after yourself. Take time out to do something that you enjoy. Even though you may not feel like it, exercising and eating well can help. 

Having tools to help you make a decision can help you in reaching a successful outcome. If you are finding how you are feeling is affecting your day to day routine, it is a good idea to talk to someone you trust. This may be someone like a friend, school counsellor or family member.

Suggestions for making decision making easier

There are steps you can take to help ensure you make your decisions based on what is right for you.  Here are some tips you may find helpful when you are making a hard decision:

Identify unhelpful behaviours

Think about how you normally behave when you make a decision - for example, Do you get stressed? Excited? Anxious? This reaction might make it difficult for you to make good decisions - it might make you less likely to make a change, or more likely to make an impulsive decision. 

If you're feeling stressed or anxious, or have any feelings that are holding you back from making good decisions, it's good to be able to identify that reaction, and to try and manage it when making decisions in the future. 

Talking to someone about the decision and how you feel might help. For other suggestions on managing anxiety or stress check out the fact sheets listed on the left hand side of this page.

Give yourself as much time as possible

You might need a bit of time to make your decision effectively. Even once you've made your decision, you might want to sit on it for a while, just to make sure you're happy with it. For example, if you need to decide which uni course you want to attend by a certain date, it might be helpful to make your decision before that date, and take some time to make sure it feels like the right decision for you.

Sometimes you have to make a decision quickly which can be hard. However, it is still possible to adapt some of these suggestions to the timeframe you have.

Explore risks involved in changing or with not changing

Change can be difficult, and might involve some losses as well as gains. For example, when someone chooses to leave home, they might lose some home comforts and parental support, but on the other hand there might be the reward of increased independence and freedom.

When deciding whether or not to make a change, you might find it helpful to write a list of the pros and cons for each possible alternative.

Explore goals + values

Your values and goals can help you make a decision.  For example, the subjects you choose at school, Uni or TAFE will be influenced by the goals you have for when you finish school, Uni or TAFE. Your goals or values may change over time, so you might need to re-visit your decisions as this happens.

Examine alternatives

Often when making a decision there are several outcomes and sometimes not all the alternatives seem obvious. Writing a list of your options and exploring each option by listing the positives and negatives and any consequences is a good idea.  You might also want to consider how you feel about the options. What is your gut feeling?  

Talk to people

Talking to people you trust and respect about the alternatives and consequences of the decision can be helpful, particularly people who may have made similar decisions. This may be a family member, friend, teacher or counsellor.

You may prefer to do this anonymously - Kids Helpline 1800 55 1800 (free call from landline) and Lifeline 13 11 14 (local call cost from landline) have counsellors who are available 24/7, and the call does not show up on the phone bill.

Keep a diary

You might be experiencing a rollercoaster of thoughts and feelings, and it may help to keep track of these by writing them down. 

Inform others

If you are worried about someone's response to your decision, it might be helpful to think about what their reaction will be before informing them. This can to allow you time to think about how you might manage the situation. For more information check out the Telling someone big news fact sheet.

Maintaining a commitment to the decision

Once you've made your decision, you might face different challenges and pressures that go against your decision. For example, others may not agree with your decision. 

You may decide to stick with your original decision or it could be helpful to re-think your options. Decision don't have to be final, it is OK to change your mind and healthy to reassess if the decision made is still right for you. The important thing is that you have taken steps to make the choice that is right for you.

Reference:

Counselling Adolescents.  (1999).  Kathryn Geldard & David Geldard.  Sage Publications.