Suicide: Wanting to end your life

Do you need help now?

If you need help now please call Kids Helpline 1800 55 1800 or Lifeline on 13 11 14. If you are in immediate danger please call 000. For more information read the Emergency help section.

What to do if you want to commit suicide

If you are feeling suicidal or want to end your life, it's important that you keep yourself safe. Try to remember that thoughts about suicide are just thoughts. They do not mean you have to act on them.

No matter how overwhelming they are or how often you have them. They also don't mean that you will always have those thoughts.

Everyone goes through tough times and experiences times when things seem hopeless. It is possible to get through these times by creating your own 'tool kit' of coping strategies, which you can use when you're feeling suicidal or when things feel hopeless.

Some suggestions include:  

Postpone any decision to end your life

While it may feel like you have to act now on your thoughts of suicide, try to postpone that decision. Keep a list of other things you can do to distract yourself.

This might include:

• watching a DVD
• going to the movies
• playing a game
• ringing a friend
• chatting on msn
• doing some exercise
• reading a book
• listening to music.

You can then put this into action when the suicidal feeling starts to surface. Many people report that by postponing a decision to die, they found that their life did change. They were able to get the support they needed and could move on to a better, happier place.

Tell someone

Although it may seem hard, and may seem like a bigger challenge than taking steps to commit suicide, it's important to reach out to others who might help you to see alternative ways of solving or thinking about a problem, and to help you to realise what is important to you, allowing you to have a more positive outlook.

You could tell a family member or friend, counsellor or any person that you feel comfortable with (this might also be a teacher or religious leader). If they don't believe you or don't want to listen, keep trying until someone else does. Sometimes people don't react well at first because they don't know how. This is not your fault, and although it may feel hard, don't give up!

If you are having difficulty speaking about what you're going through, you might start with sentences such as 'Right now, I'm feeling...', 'I think it started when...', 'I've been feeling this for...', 'My sleep has been...', 'Lately school/work/uni has been...'.

Or try writing something down and giving the paper to the other person if you're having real difficulty speaking.

Ring a crisis line

If you are having difficulty talking to people you know, phone a crisis line.

Kids Helpline (KHL) (1800 55 1800) is free from a landline and won't show up on a phone bill.

Lifeline (131 114) is the cost of a local call from a landline.

Both of these services are anonymous and they're open 24hrs a day 7 days a week.

Write down your feelings

Writing down your feelings, or keeping a journal, can be a great way of understanding your feelings and a particular situation. It can also help you think about alternative solutions to problems.

Set small goals

Sometimes people set goals which are almost unachievable and then feel worse when they cannot reach them. Try to set goals that are achievable for you, even if it's on a day by day, or hour by hour, basis. And remember to reward yourself too.

Exercise + eating well

Even though you might not feel like it, exercising and eating well can help when you are feeling down.

Biological factors, as well as social factors, influence how you feel and how you react think about certain things and yourself. Exercise helps stimulate hormones, such as endorphins, which help you feel better about yourself and your life. If you haven't done a lot of exercise before, it might be a good idea to start doing something small a couple of times each week.  A 15 minute walk or 2 or 3 laps of a pool would be a good place to start.

Avoid drugs + alcohol

Try not to use drugs or alcohol in the hopes of feeling better. Using them may help you forget about your problems for a little while but when the effects wear off you'll often just feel worse.

Talk to a psychologist or psychiatrist

Psychiatrists are health workers who have special training in mental illnesses, including depression, schizophrenia, and suicide. Clinical psychologists have a similar training, but do not administer medication.

You may be able to find them through your GP, your local community health centre, or through colleges of psychiatry and psychology. Some GPs and other allied health staff also do counselling. You may be able to obtain details through divisions of general practice in your area, and/or through your community health centre. Check out the Who can help you section for more info.

Why do people want to commit suicide?

Sometimes living can become very painful and problems can seem overwhelming. At some point many people think about suicide, but do not plan or act on it.  However, for others the thought of suicide might begin to seem like a real alternative to a problem or situation that appears hopeless or as if there is no solution.

Situations that might contribute to a feeling of hopelessness include:

• relationship break-ups
• family problems
• sexual, physical or mental abuse
• drug or alcohol problems
• mental illness, including schizophrenia, bipolar and depression
• major loss and grief such as a death
• school, uni or work problems
• unemployment or being unemployed for a long time
• feeling like you don't belong anywhere
• any problem that you can't see a solution for and is ongoing.

Is deliberate self-harm the same as wanting to commit suicide?

Wanting to end your life, or suicide, is not necessarily the same as deliberate self-harm. Deliberate self-harm, such as cutting or burning oneself, is often used to cope with difficult or painful feelings. When someone can not express in words or make sense of their feelings or emotions, they may choose to hurt themselves physically.

However, most people who engage in deliberate self-harm do not wish to die. For more information about deliberate self-harm you may want to check out the Deliberate self-harm fact sheet.