Suicide: Wanting to end your life
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What to do if you're thinking of ending your life
If you are feeling suicidal or want to end your life, it's important that you keep yourself safe. Try to remember that thoughts about suicide are just thoughts. They do not mean you have to act on them.
No matter how overwhelming they are or how often you have them. They also don't mean that you will always have those thoughts.
Everyone goes through tough times and experiences times when things seem hopeless. It is possible to get through these times by creating your own 'tool kit' of coping strategies, which you can use when you're feeling suicidal or when things feel hopeless.
Some suggestions include:
Postpone any decision to end your life
While it may feel like you have to act now on your thoughts of suicide, try to postpone that decision. Keep a list of other things you can do to distract yourself.
This might include:
- watching a DVD
- going to the movies
- playing a game
- ringing a friend
- chatting on msn
- doing some exercise
- reading a book
- listening to music.
You can then put this into action when the suicidal feeling starts to surface. Many people report that by postponing a decision to die, they found that their life did change. They were able to get the support they needed and could move on to a better, happier place.
Tell someone
Although it may seem hard, and may seem like a bigger challenge than taking steps to end your life, it's important to reach out to others who might help you to see alternative ways of solving or thinking about a problem. This could also help you to realise what is important to you, allowing you to have a more positive outlook.
You could tell a family member or friend, counsellor or any person that you feel comfortable with (this might also be a teacher or religious leader). If they don't believe you or don't want to listen, keep trying until someone else does. Sometimes people don't react well at first because they don't know how. This is not your fault, and although it may feel hard, don't give up!
If you are having difficulty speaking about what you're going through, you might start with sentences such as 'Right now, I'm feeling...', 'I think it started when...', 'I've been feeling this for...', 'My sleep has been...', 'Lately school/work/uni has been...'.
Or try writing something down and giving the paper to the other person if you're having real difficulty speaking.
Ring a crisis line
If you are having difficulty talking to people you know, phone a crisis line.
Kids Helpline (KHL) (1800 55 1800) is free from a landline and won't show up on a phone bill.
Lifeline (131 114) is the cost of a local call from a landline.
Both of these services are anonymous and they're open 24hrs a day 7 days a week.
Write down your feelings
Writing down your feelings, or keeping a journal, can be a great way of understanding your feelings and a particular situation. It can also help you think about alternative solutions to problems.
Set small goals
Sometimes people set goals which are almost unachievable and then feel worse when they cannot reach them. Try to set goals that are achievable for you, even if it's on a day by day, or hour by hour, basis. And remember to reward yourself too.
Exercise + eating well
Even though you might not feel like it, exercising and eating well can help when you are feeling down.
Biological factors, as well as social factors, influence how you feel and how you react think about certain things and yourself. Exercise helps stimulate hormones, such as endorphins, which help you feel better about yourself and your life. If you haven't done a lot of exercise before, it might be a good idea to start doing something small a couple of times each week. A 15 minute walk or 2 or 3 laps of a pool would be a good place to start.
Avoid drugs + alcohol
Try not to use drugs or alcohol in the hopes of feeling better. Using them may help you forget about your problems for a little while but when the effects wear off you'll often just feel worse.
Talk to a psychologist or psychiatrist
Psychiatrists are health workers who have special training in mental illnesses, including depression, schizophrenia, and suicide. Clinical psychologists have a similar training, but do not administer medication.
You may be able to find them through your GP, your local community health centre, or through colleges of psychiatry and psychology. Some GPs and other allied health staff also do counselling. You may be able to obtain details through divisions of general practice in your area, and/or through your community health centre. Check out the Who can help you section for more info.
Why do people want to commit suicide?
Sometimes living can become very painful and problems can seem overwhelming. At some point many people think about suicide, but do not plan or act on it. However, for others the thought of suicide might begin to seem like a real alternative to a problem or situation that appears hopeless or as if there is no solution.
Situations that might contribute to a feeling of hopelessness include:
- relationship break-ups
- family problems
- sexual, physical or mental abuse
- drug or alcohol problems
- mental illness, including schizophrenia, bipolar and depression
- major loss and grief such as a death
- school, uni or work problems
- unemployment or being unemployed for a long time
- feeling like you don't belong anywhere
- any problem that you can't see a solution for and is ongoing.
Is deliberate self-harm the same as wanting to die by suicide?
Wanting to end your life, or suicide, is not necessarily the same as deliberate self-harm. Deliberate self-harm, such as cutting or burning oneself, is often used to cope with difficult or painful feelings. When someone can not express in words or make sense of their feelings or emotions, they may choose to hurt themselves physically.
However, most people who engage in deliberate self-harm do not wish to die. For more information about deliberate self-harm you may want to check out the Deliberate self-harm fact sheet.
You can read stories from other young people who have struggled with this, and check out other useful resources on ReachOut.com
- Having difficult conversations (Story)
- Suicide prevention (Video)
- If your friend threatens to commit suicide (Fact sheet)
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30 Comments (Page 1 of 5)
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Rosie
about 6 hours ago
Reply ReportHey Depgirl,
depgirl
1 day ago
Reply ReportI posted on here a couple of months ago that things were pretty bad, and have been looking at factsheets on the site. I saw my psychiatrist today and upon the advice of others on here I told her everything I had been keeping back. I now feel worse than I did before because not only do I have depression and anxiety and self-harm, she confirmed that I have OCD and anorexia. How am I supposed to deal with all this please? I just keep wondering if it's all worth it because this is all too much for me. Without being to specific, my thoughts are not good ones.
Rosie
3 days ago
Reply ReportHey T94
It sounds like you are having a pretty hard time coping at the moment, and that you might need a bit of support. Have you got anyone at home or in your community that you can talk to about how you're feeling? Feeling suicidal can be scary and confusing, and talking to someone that can help you deal with some of the emotions and feelings you are experiencing is really important. You can and will get through this, even if it feels like a state that might never go away. Have a look here to see the list of stories and factsheets we have about wanting to end your life, and how other people got through it.
These are some numbers that you can call to talk to someone anonymously, 24 hours a day 7 days a week. Please call them.
Kids Help Line - 1800 55 1800 kids helpline also has an online counselling service at www.kidshelpline.com.au
Life line - 13 11 14 lifeline also have a crisis support chat service here: http://www.lifeline.org.au/Find-Help/Online-Services/crisis-chat/default.aspx
Did you talk to your friend about how you were feeling? It's really important that you have support around you to get you through this time. Your GP, a counsellor at school, uni or tafe, a youth worker, a psychologist or a teacher are all professionals that can help you. If you don't feel comfortable talking to them, talk to a close friend, your boyfriend, or a family member and ask them to make you an appointment. Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary state, and there are many, many other ways to deal with how you are feeling.
If you don't feel ready to talk to anyone, or you want to connect with other young people about getting through tough times, please have a look at the reachout forums here. These aren't a place for professional counselling advice, but they are a place to talk to other young people about getting through tough times, seeking professional help, and they can help you realise that you aren't alone in your feelings, and that you can get through them.
Please take care of yourself. You deserve to live, you deserve to be happy, and you will get through this.
T94
3 days ago
Reply ReportWhen i was 13 i wanted to take my own life more then anything and now im 17 and everythings turning to shit again . I feel like im not good enough for anyone anymore. Ending my life is all i think about from the second i wake up till the time i go to sleep. My boyfriend was mucking around and was on top of me and i couldnt breathe at all. I didnt make any sounds or any indication for him that it was hurting, he realised i couldnt breathe and got straight off and asked me why i didnt push him off. I couldnt even tell him its cuz i want to die. One of my friends caught on that im not coping and the first thing she said was "your the last person anyone would expect to feel like this, you always seem happy". im sick of pretending im happy. It scares me more then anything in the world, but i also want to die more then anything...
:(
Sophie RO crew
22 days ago
Reply ReportHi there disfunctional
Disfunctional
22 days ago
Reply ReportI tried to hang myself about a year and a half ago, afterwards i had bruising all around my neck. When I went to see my doctor she was honest told me she really didn't know what I had done to it. She said give it 6 weeks and the swelling should go down.
Sophie RO crew
about 1 month ago
Reply ReportHi Cherry
Randomness
about 1 month ago
Reply ReportHi Cherry327,
Randomness
about 1 month ago
Reply ReportHey Cherry327,
Cherry327
about 1 month ago
Reply ReportOver-dosed a few nights ago. Still in a daze, is it normal to feel embarrassed and isolated afterwards? I'm also really scared for myself because I'm still extremely suicidal but haven't told anyone because I want to be ok.
My mother became extremely over-protective and I haven't told my friends - except one who is so supportive. I'm going on anti-depressents and seeing a doctor soon.
For everyone out there contemplating suicide, please don't. I know I sound like a hypocrit but as bad as life is and as bad as it seems, there's that tiny bit of hope that things will get better. I'm just praying to a god that I don't believe in I'll wake up and love life once more.
Peace xx
mischief_managed
2 months ago
Reply ReportHey depgirl,
http://forums.reachout.com.au/forum.php
Sophie RO crew
2 months ago
Reply ReportDepgirl - talk to your doctor as openly as you can. Let them know how you are feeling, and why you don't think going into hospital will be helpful for you. Do you have any ideas of how else you would like them to help you instead of hospital? Obviously you want some kind of help from them - that's why you are telling them, so it's about figuring out what you want. If you don't want medication or hospitalisation - what other help-seeking do you want to try? Ask the doctor what all your options are.
depgirl
2 months ago
Reply ReportI checked out the patient rights sheet, but I am still concerned about being honest with my GP because the last time I said to her that I didn't want to live anymore, she put me in the hospital. It took me months to be able to admit to that. How can I be honest with her knowing that? My psychiatrist has also told me that I should call her if I'm feeling like that again because she will put me in a mental health hospital. If that were to happen, does that mean my right to refuse medication is then removed? I don't care about myself anymore, I have no motivation, I'm tired of hiding my thoughts/feelings, and I have no energy to fight anymore. How can I tell that to someone, and there not be repercussions?
Sophie RO crew
2 months ago
Reply Reportdepgirl, it's not an easy question that your asking - but it's fantastic that you're asking it. You've mentioned that things are pretty bad and that your feeling pretty low.
depgirl
2 months ago
Reply ReportThis are really bad right now. I don't really know where to start. I've been having tests for 'episodes' I've been experiencing, but because I have had anxiety for about 8 years just about everyone is saying the 'episodes' are of course anxiety, even though they are really different. I was supposed to sit my final uni exam this week but was too ill, so now I've lost heaps of my break I desperately need because I have to sit a supp. I told the GP and lecturer that I wasn't capable but they've just got their minds set. 3 weeks ago my GP put me in hospital overnight because she was "worried about my state of mind", the trouble is, not only am I feeling worse now than I was then, but now I am worried about saying how I feel in case she does it again. My GP wants me to take medication, but I'm really against it. My life just feels so empty. I've thought about running away too, which I'm so close to doing. I also self harm which causes me stress because I need to hide it, but I can't get myself to stop. Where do I go from here?
Randomness
3 months ago
Reply ReportHey Smile_Through_It_All,
Smile_Through_It_All
3 months ago
Reply ReportHey again, gphelps and Randomness,
So the other day was not one of my best. My friend and I got into a fight and I had no other way of contacting my other friend who knows about my depression. I was on the verge of self harming and had the intention of going further - since no one was home and life just sucked shit. But then I remembered you guys and I called KHL. I was put through to a guy named Ethan who was an amazing help and who I talked with and tried to sort out just the little problems to make me feel better. He said that considering my depression had gotten worse the past few months and I'd had it for a year, I should try and contact a doctor, because there was no apparent cause for my depression I may need medication to fix it. I'm kinda unsure how to go about this; I dunno if I'll try and get my friend and her mum to take me to a doctor at some stage, or if I'll just talk to my counsellor about it and see if she can help me out. I'm also not sure if taking medication is the safer option as well. I dunno if the doctor can give me medication without a parents consent or even if I'll be able to keep it from them. I'm really unsure of how to proceed from here. I also don't wanna worry my friend, since she's starting to carry too much on her shoulders; she's trying to help out other people as well and I can see her starting to crack. The last thing a friend should be doing is placing more pressure on her.
Any adivce you guys can give me? The only thing I can think of is owning up to my counsellor that I'm not as happy as I act and that things have been getting worse for me, but then I don't want my parents to be involved. It's like one huge circle of complication and I'm stuck. I don't know what to do. KHL was awesome but how do I go from here?
Randomness
3 months ago
Reply ReportHey Smile_Through_It_All,
gphelps
4 months ago
Reply ReportHey again Smilethroughitall,
Smile_Through_It_All
4 months ago
Reply ReportHi Randomness and gphelps, wow thanks for replying - it's so refreshing to have people listen and to hear my story. You guys just made me smile and gave me hope.
I really want to go onto the kids helpline online counselling service but the only computer that I have access to is my school one and on it, it's blocked and I don't want to ask anyone to unblock it in case my school finds out and, consequently, so do my parents.
Maybe I'll try a new counsellor, but I think I'll probably call the kids helpline service; it sounds like it might be a better idea for me to vent.
I don't think I'm ready to tell my parents what I'm going through; but maybe I'll never be. I don't really get along with them very well (underestimation of the year) and communication really doesn't fit in there anywhere.
Randomness, you said that not everybody's the right person to tell, but there's always someone that is. That really stuck with me and it's made me think that maybe the counsellor I'm seeing at the moment isn't the right person for me to open up to. Again, this made me think that I could refer to the Kids helpline.
I guess the one thing that I'm scared of above all, is that if I tell people that I have depression, I'll get the same reactions; shock, disbelief and immediately wanting to tell somebody. I have serious trust issues now as well; and I keep things all to myself. Which is why I went here; anonymous works for me.
Thanks so much to you guys reading and replying; I haven't gotten a lot of help or support and you guys just gave me hope.Thank you again (and sorry again about the lengthiness :s)
gphelps
4 months ago
Reply ReportHey smilethroughitall,
Randomness
4 months ago
Reply ReportHey Smile_Through_It_All,
Smile_Through_It_All
4 months ago
Reply ReportThis factsheet actually helped me, which is amazing because I haven't had much help in a long time. I'm 14 and I've been going through depression the last year, maybe longer. Every day I wake up and fight with myself if today I commit suicide. Nobody knows except 2 of my friends and my school counsellor, but it feels like I can't talk to anyone. I tried to tell my friend about how I cut but then she told her mum and her mum told my mum and it turned into this huge catastrophe. I ended up lying to get out of it; which is what I normally do. I can't tell my counsellor because we have a deal that if my depression gets worse she tells my parents.
She's a new counsellor, so she hasn't been with me my old one knew it all, I told her everything, and she helped me so much. But then she left and I don't see her anymore; she told me that she wanted me to keep seeing the other counsellor so I feel committed to her now.
This year has been so hard for me; things just get worse and worse and the only comfort I can bring from it is going onto this website and seeing that I'm not the only one going through hell.
Nobody else realises what I'm going through; when I first tried to tell my parents about wanting to commit suicide, they told me that I shouldn't joke about things like that and that suicide was a serious thing and that if I ever actually was depressed their whole lives would change. I felt so guilty about it all so I just shut up and lied my way out of it.
I'm pretty good at hiding everything; my friends don't know what's going on, the only people who really realise are a few girls who I see every day and who are like sisters to me. They see me when I draw away and don't talk to anyone, and they can tell that something's up when I come out of the bathroom after I'd just been crying and debating with myself not to cut.
I just feel like I can't trust anybody and if I do it turns on me so that they end up feeling awful. I try not to spill my feelings, because I tell them that my life is already hell, I don't want theirs to be like that, too, but they insist. I tell them, and they end up worrying, and being completely upset. When my mum found out about me cutting she said that I had upset my friend about it all, which made me feel even more guilty so now I just keep to myself; it's better that way.
Wow, it feels so weird to actually say all that :P I just feel like I can't talk to anybody I know so the internet is the best bet. And especially considering the things that people on this site have been through; you're all so inspiring and incredible and I wish that one day I could be like you.
Whoa, if you read all that I seriously commend you; I've been told that I talk too much... :s
Cassie :)
5 months ago
Reply ReportHi Annelle,
Sophie RO crew
5 months ago
Reply ReportHi Annelle
Posting here on ReachOut.com might feel like a small step, but it's an important one. Today is the day that you have done something about the way you feel. You could even use what you posted here to start the conversation with a friend, family member, doctor, teacher or any person in your life that you trust (you could even print it out and show it to them).
Kids Helpline (for young people up to 25) have phone, web and email counselling: http://www.kidshelp.com.au/teens/ or 1800 55 1800
eHeadspace is a confidential, free, anonymous, secure space where you can chat or email qualified youth mental health professionals, go to https://www.eheadspace.org.au/ between 1pm-9pm daily.
If not, you can always visit your local GP and have a talk with them about your options. They may be able to refer you onto a social worker or psychologist.
If you are in immediate danger of hurting yourself, call 000. If you want some more ideas, you can also check out the 'who can help you' section here: http://au.reachout.com/find/getting-help/who-can-help-you, or visit the ReachOut.com forums to get support from other other young people, http://forums.reachout.com
Randomness
5 months ago
Reply ReportHi Annelle,
Annelle
5 months ago
Reply ReportI don't know where to turn. I don't know what to say. I've always been terrible in explaining how I feel. How do I tell someone I am always sad, even when I'm happy, that I hate myself most of the time, that the thought of being alone terrifies me because of the things I could do?
I know I'm young but I feel so old, I keep promising myself I'll do something about the way I'm feeling but the months, years keep passing and I don't.
Sophie RO crew
5 months ago
Reply ReportHi Marlee.
Keep reaching out!
Marlee
5 months ago
Reply Reportwow i didnt think to do stuff like this to get suicide off my mind.... but the thing is that life is so difficult for me.. :(
Randomness
7 months ago
Reply ReportI'm sorry if the English is hard to understand. You may want to put this into a translator if it is difficult to understand.