Being in a relationship with someone can be tricky when there’s a whole heap of kilometres between you. Fortunately, there are some ways to help make it work.
This can help if:
- you spend your days pining for a faraway partner
- you’re not sure if a long-distance relationship is your gig
- you’re considering a long-distance relationship and want to give it your very best shot.
Tips to make it work
It’s hard to make it work sometimes – but it is possible. So, don’t throw in the towel. There are many happy couples who spend much of the time living in different places.
Here are some handy tips to ensure smooth sailing across the long-distance sea.
Be confident in your relationship
So, there’s a bit of distance between you and your partner. What of it? You’ve got this! Stay positive and believe that you can make it work.
Keep your jealousy in check
If your partner lives in a different place from you, they’ll be making new friends and forming new social networks.
Don’t let your imagination get the better of you. Just because they mention they’ve made an awesome new friend, it doesn’t mean they’re in love with them and planning to elope.
Stay in regular touch
If you can’t see each other often, the next best thing is to chat regularly. Stay up to date on what’s happening in each other’s lives to avoid feeling as though they’ve disappeared completely.
Schedule a regular time to chat online or over the phone. If there’s a time difference, figure out when works for both of you and make that your special ‘couple’ time.
Be completely honest
Trust is a must if your relationship is to stay robust. If it looks like you’re hiding something, your partner might feel suspicious, and suspicious minds invent all kinds of trouble.
Lay everything out on the table at the start
Everyone chooses to do long-distance relating differently. You might agree to talk every day, once a week or once a month. You might decide that you don’t want to have an exclusive relationship while you’re living apart. You might agree that sending texts at 3 am on a Saturday isn’t allowed. Whatever it is, make sure you’re both on the same page.
We love to make plans, because it gives us something to look forward to. Plan a trip to go and visit your partner, or arrange a dinner date via Skype for next Friday night. Reservation for two, 8 pm?
Find the upside
Yes, long-distance relationships can be a real pain, but there are good things about them as well. You get all the support and love from being in a relationship, but you’ve still got lots of time to spend with your friends and to do the things that you want to do.
Figure out what the upside is for you. Long distance doesn’t have to make for a long face.
Be there for your partner even when you’re not actually there
Even though your partner is living far away from you, they’re still going through all of the everyday ups and downs that they always went through.
Make sure they still feel that you support and care for them, even though you can’t physically see them. Check in regularly via phone or Skype. Send a big virtual hug every now and then, to show you’re still giving them the love.
Some people love surprises. From receiving a random text that says ‘You’re awesome’, to having a delicious pizza delivered unexpectedly to your doorstep, surprises never get old. Keep things interesting by occasionally surprising your far-away partner.
What can I do now?
- Plan some fun surprises for your partner.
- Discuss with your partner how to manage the pressures of being apart.
- Read about choosing to have a relationship.