Friendships and exam stress: 5 tips for keeping things positive

Maintaining friendships during exam season can be super challenging. Tensions are running high, the pressure is on, and the atmosphere feels competitive. You might feel like it’s ages since you’ve had a chance to spend time with your mates, or that you’re spending too much time together and getting distracted from your study. It can be especially hard when your friends are stressing about their own exam prep, too.

Here are our 5 tips for keeping a friendship going strong when exam time rolls around.

1. Figure out if group study works for you

Everyone learns and studies differently. Are you more productive alone or with others? If you’re unsure of how you like to study, take this study style quiz to figure out what works for you. 

Prefer working in a group? Find time to meet up and study with a friend, or start a study group. Actively discussing or teaching each other content might help you to absorb information more easily or to see things from a different perspective. 

Prefer going solo? Let your friends know that you might not be available much at the moment, but that you still value their friendship. Make plans to meet up in your breaks or once your exams are over.

2. Schedule some alone time if you need it

When everyone’s constantly discussing upcoming exams, one person’s stress can spread throughout the group and suddenly everyone starts really feeling it. 

If you find that it’s wearing you out, here’s how to take some time out to focus on your work:

• Let your friends know about your study schedule. Be honest about your availability, to make sure you have enough time to focus. Chances are they’re busy, too, and will understand where you’re coming from. Create a study schedule and share it with your group, or even collaborate on a shared calendar and schedule time to hang out.

• Remove distractions from your study space. When you’re in study mode, turn off notifications on your phone, or download a productivity app to help keep you in the zone. If you’re finding yourself procrastinating too often, try these 10 ways to get stuff done. 

• If you need some time alone, communicate this clearly. Sometimes, you just need to disconnect for a bit to get back on track. However, it can be challenging for friends to hear that you need some personal space. Being really clear about how you feel and what you want can help the other person better understand where you’re at and ensure your relationship remains strong. Get some tips on tackling a difficult conversation.

3. Check in with your friends

When exam prep ramps up, it can feel like there’s no time to catch up with the people closest to you. It’s important to be there for your friends during times like these, and to know that they’re there for you, too. 

• Stay connected. Making time for both your study and your social life can be tricky, but finding time to chat or meet up with your mates can really help prevent burnout and keep you motivated. Even a simple text or phone call can go a long way. Learn how to nail your study–life balance.

• Speak up if you’re worried. If it seems like your friend is finding it hard to switch off, putting off important assignments or keeping their distance, it could be a sign that they’re feeling stressed out. Let them know you’re there for them if they want to talk things through. Read more about helping a friend with stress.

• Ask if there’s anything you can help with. Helping someone with a difficult subject, reading through a practice essay, breaking up their study sessions with a walk or a coffee are just a few of the many ways you can show your support.

4. Focus on your own academic journey

Sometimes, the competitive mood of exam season might make your friends seem like rivals rather than supports, which can place a lot of pressure on your friendship. Instead of getting caught up in other’s achievements and stressing over whether you’re keeping up with them, try these tips:

• Set yourself meaningful personal goals. Think of some specific goals that are achievable and important to you. This could be committing to a specific amount of study time each week, beating your personal best mark or mastering a tricky topic you've been avoiding. When the exams are over, take time to reflect on and celebrate how much you’ve achieved.

• Celebrate wins big and small. Take the time to acknowledge yourself (and your friends!) for how hard you’ve worked. Recognising your achievements boosts confidence and keeps you from comparing yourself unfavourably to others.

• Limit your time on social media. When your feed is full of the successes of others (often portrayed in a pretty unrealistic way), it’s common to feel like you’re not measuring up. Cut back on social media time, or focus on creators who motivate you to become the best version of yourself. 

5. Reach out to family and other supports

If you feel like your friendships are stressing you out and you’re not too sure what to do about it, it's worth reaching out to others in your support network. 

Having a conversation with someone who knows you well, such as a family member or an older friend, can provide some clarity – you might even find that they’ve had similar experiences and can offer some good advice. If you’d rather chat anonymously, there are plenty of people out there who can listen and remind you that you’re not alone in what you’re going through. Book in a PeerChat session here or create a post on ReachOut's Online Community.

If the stress is impacting your mental health, a psychologist or counsellor can provide helpful strategies for managing it, or they can just be there to listen and help you understand what you’re feeling. Get tips on choosing the right professional for you.