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A: It sounds like you’ve been doing it tough with this on your own. Working out how gender works for us, and how we identify, can feel pretty lonely and confusing at times. But you might be surprised to learn that lots of people feel that they’re a bit different from most of the people of their gender around them.

Sex is assigned at birth

When we’re born, a doctor assigns a sex to us based on our physical aspects (yup, your genitals). The sex is written on your birth certificate, student ID, all sorts of things. But we’re more complex than a letter on our student ID!

Sex vs gender

As well as having a physical sex, we also have a gender, which is how we feel in our mind in terms of being masculine or feminine, identifying as a boy or girl or something else. Most people expect that a person’s gender and their physical sex should ‘match’.


Some people are born with a penis and identify as a girl, while others might be born with a vagina and identify as a boy. This is sometimes called ‘transgender’. (‘Trans’ just means ‘across’, or ‘on a different side’.)

Genderqueer and genderless

Other people identify with being both a boy and a girl, or having many genders. They might identify as ‘genderqueer’. Others identify with having no gender, and may identify as genderless.

Gender fluid

Some people find that their gender shifts and changes over time. Of course, what you call yourself is entirely up to you. You might even choose not to label your gender at all, and that’s fine, too!

Find out more

Being a bit different with your gender isn’t a bad thing. You have the right to be you!

Why not check out some blogs, articles or forums about gender fluidity, gender questioning, transgender and genderqueer on the internet? There are heaps of people out there figuring out how gender works for them, too.

Talk to someone

Check out our LGBTQI support services page for a list of services that you can contact.

What can I do now?