Navigating cultural differences in romantic relationships

When you’re dating someone from a different culture, you probably feel a strong connection based on things you have in common. Maybe you have the same hobbies, or you share the same passions, or your personalities just click. Still, cultural differences can be tricky to navigate.

Check out what these three young couples have to say about the challenges they’ve faced, and how they embrace and celebrate their differences. Plus, get their tips and advice on how to navigate cultural differences in your own relationship.

Download the video transcript.

Be open-minded

Dating someone with a different cultural background can bring a bunch of new and fun experiences – you might try new foods, learn a new language or celebrate a new holiday. But some cultural differences can be pretty confusing or overwhelming at first. You might find that your partner has different expectations for:

• how serious your relationship should be 

• when to introduce each other to family and friends  

• how involved your families are in the relationship.

A big part of embracing cultural differences is accepting your differences without judgement. Just because these differences exist doesn’t mean that one way is better or worse than the other – they’re just different.

It can be frustrating when you feel like you’re clashing culturally, and it’ll likely take a bit of compromise and patience to sort out your differences. Here are some ways you can better understand each other’s culture:

• Be more aware of your own cultural beliefs and assumptions.

• Talk to and get to know more people from your partner’s culture.

• Learn about their culture through movies, books, cultural events or travel.

• Share aspects of your cultures with each other.

Get some more tips on how to understand a different culture.

You won’t always agree on everything, but understanding cultural context can help you to see things from their point of view.

Practise open communication

Communication is super important in any relationship. When you’re dating someone from a different culture, you might have different ways of communicating. Maybe you speak different primary languages, or one of you is used to being more direct than the other. 

A good way to overcome these differences is to practise open communication, which means sharing your thoughts and feelings honestly and regularly. This can help to avoid misunderstandings and resolve problems quickly.

It can take some getting used to, but here are some tips for improving your communication:

• Be an active listener. Show them you’re really listening by asking questions or repeating what they’ve said to make sure you’ve understood them correctly.

• Express what you want or need without being demanding.

• Use your body language to put the other person at ease, while being mindful of whether their culture uses body language differently.

Stand up for your relationship

It can be really hard when your family or friends don’t ‘approve’ of your relationship.  But you shouldn’t have to give up a healthy relationship just because others aren’t on board with you dating someone from a different culture. If you believe their concern is coming from a good place, it might be worth chatting with them about it and trying to get on the same page. For example, you could try:

• listening to and trying to understand their perspective

• asking questions about why they have those values and opinions

• shifting the focus to shared values rather than differences

• seeing if you can find a compromise that doesn’t undermine your partner or your relationship.

Read up on ways to manage cultural conflict with your family.

Other times, people can be straight-up racist and may try to put you and your partner down. Dealing with this can be really upsetting and sometimes the best thing to do is simply to walk away. 

Standing up for your relationship can look like many things, such as being vocal in support of it or putting space between you and the people who are harassing you. Remember: racism is never okay, and you’re allowed to prioritise your (and your partner’s) safety and comfort. Read more in our guide to handling racism.

Chat to people you trust

Is there someone you know who might have had similar experiences with cultural differences in a relationship? It could be an older relative, a family friend, or someone you work with.

Talking to someone you trust about the challenges you’re facing can help you to feel less alone and might offer a different perspective on your situation. Even if you’re not looking for advice, it can feel good just to share what’s on your mind.

It’s natural to feel a bit awkward bringing up relationship challenges in conversation. Learn how to get over the nerves with these five steps to talking to someone you trust. If you’re not comfortable talking to someone you know, you could chat anonymously with other young people about their similar experiences in our Online Community or one-on-one with a peer worker.

Have more questions about relationships? For answers to your questions, Ask ReachOut.