Quiz - Are you in a toxic friendship?
All friendships have their ups and down, but they should never leave you feeling bad about yourself.
Carter
"I'm absolutely there for my friends, no matter what. A true friendship you don't expect anything in return, but you get it anyway."
Could you be a better friend? - I think it's hard to consider yourself a good friend, but if you try then normally you will be a good friend. Are you always there for your friends? - Yeah. I'm absolutely there for my friends, no matter what. A true friendship you don't expect anything in return, but you get it anyway. Do you always tell your friends the truth? - There's always like a rock in your gut trying to stop you from like saying what you wanna say and sometimes people just don't realize what they're doing. And so if they don't know, they can't change. Have you ever let a friend down? - Yeah, I've absolutely let friends down. It's sort of human nature. I think in friendships, we can't be perfect. Do you gossip about friends? - I definitely can remember gossiping about people. When you get caught up in a conversation with somebody and you just start like spewing words out. Have you ever made a friend look stupid? - If you've got friends that, you know, can take a joke, then you can make jokes, but always trying to maintain a balance of not going too far, not stepping out of that line is really difficult. Have you ever ghosted a friend? - I've ghosted people. I just sort of vanished off the face of the earth. It's a horrible thing to say, but sometimes like you just don't wanna deal with it. Everyone can become a better friend. Take the quiz to find out how [ReachOut.com]
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Carter
"I'm absolutely there for my friends, no matter what. A true friendship you don't expect anything in return, but you get it anyway."
Mina
"I have in the past. Had to give up on a friend, but I think it was better for both parties. If it feels wrong, then it is wrong."
Heath
"I have had friends that I probably, in hindsight, didn't like very much."
Bella
"Ghosting is like the worst like possible method of saying to a friend, 'Look, I just need some space from you'."
Tiana
"Yes, I've said things to make friends look stupid is the answer. Not proud of it, but it happens."
Madeline
"Sometimes I'll say things that are perhaps a little bit, they could come across as harsh."
Dominic
"A friendship, like any relationship is a two way street, so if only one person's putting in, what do you really share?"
Frequently asked questions about toxic friendships
Friendships are meant to lift you up, but sometimes they can quietly do the opposite. A toxic friendship is a relationship that is consistently damaging to your wellbeing. This might look like constant put-downs, having your boundaries ignored, or always being the one who gives more than you get. It's different from a friendship going through a rough patch. The big thing to look out for is a consistent pattern of behaviour, not just a one-off incident.
Friendships should generally make you feel good, not drained. Some common signs that things might be toxic include:
feeling like you’re walking on eggshells around each other
feeling like you only ever talk or hang out when one of you needs something
feeling exhausted or bad about yourself after hanging out
being overly critical, competitive, or not respecting each other's boundaries
If these things are happening more often than not, it’s a sign the balance is off. Read more about the signs a friendship may be toxic.
The short answer is: sometimes. It really depends on whether both people are willing to put in the work to nurture the friendship. If you value the friendship, you could try having an open chat about how you’re feeling and see if they’re open to making changes. Get some tips on how to tell a mate they’ve hurt you.
However, if you’ve tried setting boundaries and nothing changes, it’s okay to decide that moving on is the healthiest choice for you. Learn how to navigate a friendship breakup.
Ending a friendship is never easy, but you have the right to protect your peace. You might choose to have a direct conversation, take a break to get some space, or slowly fade out the connection. There’s no one-size-fits-all approach, so it’s about what feels safest and best for you. Learn more about how to deal with a toxic friendship.
Most friends will disagree about things at some stage; the difference is usually about patterns. A normal disagreement is a one-off event where you can talk it out, apologise, and move on. A toxic friendship feels like a constant cycle of drama, where you feel consistently unsupported, manipulated, or put down. If the bad times are way more frequent than the good times, it might be helpful to talk to someone you trust and figure out your next steps. Learn more about how to identify the signs of a toxic friendship.
If a friendship is making you feel anxious, depressed, or is affecting your daily life, it’s a good idea to reach out for support. You don’t have to figure it out alone. Talking to a trusted adult or a professional can help you gain some perspective. You can also jump onto PeerChat for a free and confidential, text-based chat with a trained peer worker who understands what you’re going through.
What can I do now?
Find out more about dealing with friendship drama, supporting your mates, and finding new friends with our friendships collection.
Read up on ways to deal with a toxic friendship.