Feeling very angry and frustrated all the time, or being around someone who is always angry, is exhausting and stressful. Find out about common causes of ongoing anger and how to tell when it’s becoming a problem, and learn what you can do about it.
This can help if:
- you want to understand where anger comes from
- you want to reduce your own anger, or help someone close to you reduce theirs
- you want to know where to get help for anger.
What it means when you feel angry all the time
When you’re angry all the time, it affects how you experience everything in your life. You might find that:
- you’re constantly in a bad mood
- you express your anger in a way that hurts yourself or someone else
- everything seems too hard, boring or uninteresting
- you want to throw, hit or destroy things all the time
- small things that didn’t used to bother you now put you in a bad mood
- you lash out at people.
Anger usually occurs when there’s something going on in life that makes you feel upset, frustrated, hurt or bored. Sometimes anger is an immediate response to a specific event, while at other times it builds up over time. Whatever the reason, feeling angry or seeing someone else become angry should alert you that something isn’t right.
When anger becomes a problem
When you hold on to your anger, you prevent yourself from feeling happy or positive, because your negative feelings block out everything else. If you don’t deal with your anger in a positive way, then over time it will just build up and become your primary emotion. Read our guide on dealing with anger for some tools and tips that will ensure you have healthy outlets for processing your negative feelings.
For other people
Dealing with someone who is always angry can have a huge impact on your relationship with them. You can’t be responsible for making them feel better, but there are a few simple things you can do to try and help:
- Don’t ignore the person.
- Be open to listening to what they have to say.
- Keep your voice calm when they’re upset.
- Try to talk things through.
- Acknowledge their distress, but don’t feel like you have to back down if you disagree. Your opinion is important, too.
- Avoid pushing advice or opinions on them. Work out whether they just need someone to listen to them, or if it’s appropriate to take on a bigger role.
- Give them space if they need it.
If that’s not enough
Anger can be a sign of much bigger issues. If things start to feel unsafe or scary, make sure you reach out for help. Call a mental health helpline, or arrange an appointment with a doctor or counsellor.
Sometimes people express their anger by becoming violent or abusive. If this is the case, and you think your safety may be at risk, remove yourself from the situation and get help. It’s never okay for someone to be violent or abusive towards you.
What can I do now?
- Read about managing anger.
- Recognise that anger passes, and wait before making any big decisions.
- If your anger is getting you down, talk to your GP about it and ask for some support options.