All game, no shame: How to bounce back with confidence

Life can get really busy, and it isn’t always easy to manage. When you’re faced with a challenge, the whole thing can get thrown off balance. Hear from proud Wangkatha man and content creator Ben Stubbs about how having confidence in yourself and your values can help you overcome hard times.

Click here to read a transcript of the video.

What we learnt from Ben

Believing in yourself and being confident makes it easier to cope when life gets hard

Failing at something or struggling with a big life challenge is tough because, on top of going through a hard time, it can make you feel bad about yourself.

But when you have a strong sense of self, it’s easier to remember that failing at something doesn’t mean that you’re a failure. Instead, you might see it as a chance to learn something new, or even as just a funny story to tell your mates one day.

Being confident means you’re able to pick yourself up when life knocks you down, because you have faith that you’ll grow from the experience. You’re able to be more positive and feel ready the next time you face a similar challenge.

You don’t have to know everything or always make the right decisions

It’s okay to feel like you’ve made mistakes, or that you aren’t sure what to do next. Not knowing all of the answers is a part of growing up. Even your Elders, or people who seem to always have the answers, aren’t always sure if they’re making the right call. 

But your Elders or trusted adults in your life are wise and knowledgeable because of their own life experiences. That wisdom and knowledge takes years to build up, and it comes from making mistakes, facing challenges and reflecting on all the good times, too.

Learning from other people's life experiences makes your life easier 

Your own life teaches you how to deal with challenges, but you can also learn from other people’s experiences. 

Watching people go through hard times, make mistakes or fumble can show you a better path to take. And if you’re ever in a similar situation to them, you may already know how you want to react or respond, because you’ve seen someone else go through it.

Ben’s tips for building your self-belief and self-confidence

Lean on your family values and cultural beliefs

Think about the things that make you you. Where do those things come from? Your values, and what you care about, have probably been shaped a lot by your family, your friends and all the other people you love, as well as by your culture.

A big part of building your self-belief is knowing your worth and reflecting those strong values whenever something brings you down. Write a list of your values and beliefs and reread them whenever you need a confidence boost or a reminder of who you are.

We got one of the oldest living cultures in the world and that’s already one thing to be confident about.

Get out of your comfort zone

You’ll never know if something’s right for you unless you go out and try it. Getting out of your comfort zone puts your confidence and self-belief to the test, which only makes it stronger. It’s also a great way to meet new people, and it can be really fun!

Trying something new will also help you to get comfortable with failure. You won’t be the best at everything straight away, but over time and with practice you’ll start to get the hang of it. Whether it’s playing a new sport or picking up a new hobby, working away at it over time will increase your confidence and you’ll feel proud of how much you’ve grown.

So, don’t be shame, be game! You never know where it might take you in life.

Keep working at it

Remember that building confidence and self-belief doesn’t happen overnight. You need to keep working at it over time, throughout your whole life. There may be times when you feel less confident or less self-assured, but you’ll bounce back quicker because you have faith in yourself and you know your worth.

Don’t be ashamed to ask the people you love to help you on this journey. Having your loved ones build you up feels great anyway, but it can feel extra special on those hard days when you really need a boost. Pay back the love by making sure you build them up, so your whole community can feel strong.

What can I do now?

  • Learn how mob mindfulness can help you keep calm when you’re feeling stressed.

  • Get some more tips on how to build self-confidence.