I’ve got two dads

David has two dads. This is the story of his journey from confusion to appreciation.

This can help if:

  • you have questions about having same-sex parents

  • one of your parents is now with a same-sex partner

  • you’re worrying about or being harassed for having same-sex parents.

Boy wearing hat looking at sky

Realising my family was different

The photographs were hung up on the wall for everyone to see. I remember looking proudly at the photo of my parents and suddenly realising that something was different. Most kids had a mother and a father smiling next to them in their photo. Some only had one parent – a mother or a father – and some had a grandparent as well.

But I was the only kid there with two fathers.

When I started high school I made new friends, but I was always very careful never to let anyone come back to my house, and I never talked about my family. When parent–teacher interview nights came around, I hid the notices so my parents didn't find out about them.

It was time to ask some questions

One day in a PD class our teacher began to discuss the topic of relationships. She told us that we were would be exploring all different aspects of relationships. She put a box at the front of the room and told us we could write down any questions anonymously and put them in the box, and that she would answer them in class.

So, I decided it was time to write down three questions:

  1. Is it wrong for a person to have two fathers?

  2. How can a baby be born with two fathers?

  3. If a boy has two fathers, is he ever allowed to marry a girl, or does he have to marry a boy, too?

Having my secret exposed made my stomach churn

I nervously entered the next PD class, after having waited so long to find out if I was normal. The teacher took out the pieces of paper and began to answer some of the questions. Finally, she got to my piece of paper and read my questions aloud. The classroom erupted with laughter and someone yelled, ‘Who's got fags for folks?’

Someone else answered: ‘I bet you it's David, because he's got two last names, one from each dad!’ Laughter filled the air. It was true – I did have one name from each father – and the thought of having my secret exposed made my stomach churn.

I ran from the classroom, out through the school gates and all the way home. Pap was in the kitchen, but I ran straight past him to my room.

How hard it was

Finally, my parents told me all about Mum, and about why she had left and how Dad and Pap got together. They talked about how hard it had been to be gay in their time, and how it had cost both of them their careers.

Talking about it with them lifted an enormous weight from my mind.

Starting again

I decided to change schools and start again somewhere where I felt more supported. At my new school, I went to visit the school counsellor. She answered all my questions and helped me sort out my feelings.

I met heaps of other people like me, and I made new friends. I built my confidence to a level where I wasn't ashamed of who I was anymore.

I'm proud of my parents

Growing up as a child with two fathers was tough. I faced a lot of prejudice, and I still do. But I'm proud of my parents for sticking up for what they believe in, and for standing strong. Love, be it heterosexual or homosexual, should never be discouraged; it should always be encouraged and accepted.

What can I do now?

  • Get the lowdown about LGBTQIA+ support services that are available to you.

  • Get some support on the ReachOut Forums.

  • Get some tips for coping with hard times.