The Mate Breakup: 6 ways to make sure you’re okay when a friendship ends

Falling out with a mate can be pretty upsetting. It can make you feel angry, confused, hurt, jealous or disappointed. While it’s common for friendships to end, it can be really hard to pick up the pieces once it’s done. Luckily, there are steps you can take to improve the situation. Check out our top tips for making it through a mate breakup.

Take a step back

The first step to moving forward is taking a step back. Firing off an angry text or posting something on Instagram might seem like a good idea at the time – but let’s be honest, you’ll 100% regret it later.

Giving yourself time to work out how you feel and what you want to do next will keep you in control. Refocusing your headspace and taking some time out from screens is a great way to give yourself space and take the edge off. Everything seems heaps easier when you’re feeling chilled!

Consider talking it out

It’s more than likely that you’re going to cross paths at some point – especially if you’re mates from school or work. If you feel comfortable talking it out, tackling the reasons your friendship has ended can leave you both feeling more chill about any chance meetings. Having a chat where you both clear the air is a super healthy way to draw a line under the friendship. Just because you can’t stay friends doesn’t mean you have to be enemies.

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Think big picture

When we find ourselves in a tough spot it can be easy to get caught up in negative thoughts. Try to keep things in perspective by thinking about the reasons behind the fallout. Maybe you don’t have as much in common these days, or you’ve both found new groups of mates that you want to spend more of your time with. Or maybe they’re just not a good friend.

It’s okay to feel upset about what’s going on, but try to keep the bigger picture in mind and see if there are any positive takeaways.

Get by with a little help

It can help to remind yourself what’s good about close pals – do this by spending some quality time with other friends that have your back. Talk about what happened and chances are they’ll help you feel a bit better. If you’re close with your family, lean on them too. If you don’t feel comfortable talking to anyone in person, hit up our forums – they’re full of awesome, supportive people who’ll get it.

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Get stuck into your hobbies

Spending time on your hobbies can be a great way to look after yourself when you’re feeling down. If you’re part of any clubs or groups, getting more involved and talking to your teammates can help you feel connected. Is there something new you’ve been thinking of trying? Find a local group or one at school and join up!

There are groups for all sorts of things, including sports, craft, music, theatre, gaming, politics and outdoor adventuring.

Give yourself a break

Hands up if you’re guilty of being hard on yourself? It’s often easy to forget to take care of number one but in these situations, there’s nothing more important!

If you’ve been through a tough time then focus on picking yourself back up. Get stuck into your favourite activities, stay active and remember that it is okay to put yourself first.

It’s totally fine to be angry, sad or frustrated - without getting stuck in the negatives for too long. There are lots of different ways to practice self care, you just need to find the one that clicks.

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Happy (Fri)ending

There’s no doubt it’s hard to accept that you’ve drifted from a friend. And while it is tough to say goodbye to an old mate, remind yourself there’s a reason you’ve grown apart or fallen out. Focus on the friends you do have, and channel your energies into other areas of your life that make you happy, like sport, music, art or exercise.

What can I do now?

  • Check out these suggestions on what to do if you're feeling lonely.

  • Get help with coping with change.