How to embrace being single

It’s no secret that we live in a world that romanticises intimate relationships. We’re told from a young age that coupling up is important. It’s communicated through the ‘happily ever after’ endings in the movies we watch and through the expectations of family, friends and society. It’s no wonder that so many of us struggle with the idea that if we’re not dating someone, we’re somehow missing out.

But being alone isn’t the same thing as being lonely. In fact, there are a whole bunch of benefits to flying solo. So, if you’re single and having a tough time finding an upside, here’s a fun list of things you can try.

Know your value

Self-affirmations aren’t limited to your auntie’s inspirational Live, Laugh, Love fridge magnets; they’re actually a great way to remind yourself of your strengths and attributes. It’s not some woo-woo theory, either — there’s real-life science behind the benefits of talking yourself up. According to Positive Psychology, self-affirmations can help you to increase your confidence, overcome bad habits, be more productive, and nip negative feelings in the bud before they can take hold.

Try to work some positive one-on-one time into your daily routine – whether you spend it speaking to yourself in the mirror, or meditating on some self-loving mantras while out in nature.

Some good self-affirmations to start with might include:

• I’m generous

• I’m kind

• I’m good at my job

• I’m valued

• I’m loved

• I’m creative

• I’m capable

• I’m grateful for (insert something personal to you).

Take yourself on a date

Most couples will tell you they spend a lot of time um-ing and ah-ing over which movie to watch or which restaurant to order dinner from. One healthy challenge of a relationship is learning to compromise and to consider another person’s desires and opinions. But if you happen to be single, you’re in the lucky position of being able to take yourself on amazing dates on a whim.

You can sleep in as long as you want, then stroll to a new cafe on the other side of town and tuck into eggs cooked just the way you like them, all while reading a great book. You can stack the arms of your reclining chair with your favourite snacks and settle into a Gold Class lounge to watch that new movie featuring your favourite actor. You deserve to treat yourself, and the idea that ‘date night’ should be exclusively for couples just ain’t true.

Commit to yourself

The one person you can always count on to be there for you is you. We’re told that finding a partner will make us happy, but the real challenge in gaining any long-term happiness is to have a good, kind and healthy relationship with yourself. That’s why it’s important to make a bunch of commitments to you. Start by vowing to be gentle with yourself, look after yourself and be grateful for all the great things in your life.

Pick up some hobbies

One benefit of having some time to yourself is the freedom to explore new hobbies. Stepping outside of your comfort zone can help you foster fun new social connections, encourage your creativity, and add interesting new parts to your personality. Not only that, but who knows what passions you’ll uncover in the process? Maybe you’ve got a secret knack for cross-stitch or a talent for dribbling a soccer ball!

Strengthen your friendships

Whether online or in real life, our friendships are a super-important part of building community and a sense of connection. Focusing on your relationships with close friends can be a nice way of reminding yourself that ‘romantic’ isn’t the only kind of love. A solid friendship can be just as enduring, special and meaningful as any long-term partnership.

It’s nice to put time and effort into strengthening the friendships that mean the most to you. If you have room in your life to connect with new people, then there are loads of ways to make new friends – including via the very welcoming ReachOut Online Community.

At the end of the day, our culture isn’t about to stop celebrating romance, but you can choose to not let this influence how you feel in your day-to-day life. You can be happy and fulfilled, regardless of your relationship status – and you deserve nothing less.

Have more questions about being single? For answers to your questions, Ask ReachOut.