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If you’re adopted, you may get to a stage in life where you want to find your birth parents. A lot of people do; it’s perfectly normal. You can get help in making the decision, as well as support for working through anything it brings up. There are also resources available to help you track down your birth parents.

This can help if:

  • you were adopted
  • you’re having difficulty deciding if you want to find your birth parents
  • you want to find your birth parents.
Boy in dark using laptop

Want to know more about your birth parents?

If you’re adopted, you may feel the need to get a fuller picture of yourself by finding out about your birth family.

Whatever you feel, it’s okay

Sometimes the desire to connect with your birth parents happens the moment you find out you’re adopted. Or an important life event, such as leaving home or getting married, may prompt you to begin asking questions about your birth parents. You may also feel comfortable with never knowing who your birth parents are, and that’s okay, too.

Don’t feel guilty for wanting to know. It’s normal

It can be confronting to think about your birth parents. You may even feel guilty for wanting to know about them, because you’re worried you’re betraying your adoptive parents. If you’re concerned about hurting your adoptive parents’ feelings, talk to them about it. Explain why it’s important to you to find your birth parents. You may discover that they’re totally supportive of the idea.

Making the decision

Deciding to find your birth parents is a big decision, and it’s normal to be worried about how it will go. Take into account your emotional wellbeing as well as your mental health, and wait until you feel strong enough to cope with any outcome, as things can get pretty emotional.

Get support

If you feel that you’re ready to start looking, make sure you have a good support network, whether it’s your adoptive parents, a friend, counsellor or psychologist.

Finding your birth parents

It’s normal to be nervous, apprehensive or worried about what your birth parents might be like. The good news is you can get professional help and support with the process of finding them. Be aware that searching for them can take time and isn’t always straightforward. So, take care of yourself and turn to your support network for help.

Resources to help you

Post Adoption Resource Centre

Phone: 02 9504 6788

Offers help to people looking for relatives, and support to those who have made the decision to get in touch with family members.

Jigsaw

Offers help, support and information for people who are adopted. Check out the process for finding your birth parents in each state.

What can I do now?

  • Talk to a counsellor about finding your birth parents.
  • Get in touch with family services.
  • Talk to your adoptive parents about your interest in finding your birth parents.